Updating twitter, it turns out.
In a moment of epiphany, I realized how addicted I have become to my media. I find myself compulsively checking my email and social network for something new, even though I have several devices that will alert me if there is anything new. I check first thing in the morning and last thing at night. If I say "Oh, I'm only going to see if she wrote me back," I am guaranteed to find an interesting article that someone has posted, which inevitably leads to time being sucked away in massive chunks as I jump from link to link like a cyber Tarzan with ADHD.
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| Funny story, when you google "Cyber Tarzan", this is the first image hit. |
It's gotten so bad that I find myself compulsively reaching for my phone as soon as I come to a full stop at red lights. It was quite distressing on my latest road trip to find that, despite wearing a bluetooth headset that would whisper in my ear to let me know if I have received an e-mail, call, or text, I still had to fight the urge to grab the device and look just to be sure. Have I become so sunk into the addiction that I no longer trust the devices that promised to free me from being glued to a glowing screen? Is my denial so bad that I question the infallibility of these gadgets whose combined value probably exceed that of my entire wardrobe? Do I truly believe that if there is not an app for that, then it is nothing? Apparently yes. It's gone beyond social media; I can't seem to turn off the tv, the radio, the xbox. I spend so much time scrolling my Netflix list just to pick out something to listen to in the background (which never works; I average one t-shirt folded per 10 minutes of playback). And I am by no means a "gamer" but when I spent an hour playing Kinect table tennis which caused me to almost throw out my shoulder and be late for a date I think it's time to start making some guidelines. My obsession isn't too bad, in fact when I have music or talk radio playing I find myself very productive and managing my time well. It's when the radio is off that I have trouble with racing thoughts, frequently derailed trains of thought, and losing chronological awareness. There is almost always a pair of headphones on my person; I am that girl that goes to the shops with the giant cans on her head.
So as with all addictions, it's time for an intervention. I need to break myself of habit and compulsion and develop a health relationship with media. I've spent so much time consuming other people's creativity that I have not taken the time to develop my own. That being said... how do I do it? After a grueling Google search (consisting of the first 4 links on the first page) I have found hardly any useful information. So instead I'm going to follow the "Quit Smoking" guidelines I keep sending to Andy and treat this just as seriously. I plan to take the next week or two to log my daily habits, be the Jane Goodall of me; keeping track of how and when I access media, why, and what I was feeling. My official detox date will be April 29, from that day it will be one solid week, cold turkey, to just the cellphone with data swiched off and radio without headphones. I will allow for 10 minutes for e-mail only in the mornings and in the evenings and I can watch the news from 6pm-7pm but that is to keep me up to date on the real world and also so I don't miss any bookings for work. Beyond that I'll be friggen Amish. I also plan to write about the experience, which means one tweet a day and at the end of the week I will post what I have compiled throughout the week. Who knows, I may even finish all the race reports I keep promising you! In the meantime I plan to continue the research into breaking obsessive and compulsive behaviour and what is a reasonable plan when I open the gates to the media stream once more.
Wish me luck and if you have any thoughts, suggestions, similar experiences, or references please leave me a comment!
