Tucker- 8:57pm
you down for ibar tonight?
Scully- 9:06pm
I'm in tampa, sorry
Tucker
lame, when im in tampa, youre here. when im here, youre in tampa
Scully
maybe we're the same person. ever think of that?
Tucker
scary
Scully
seriously, nobody ever sees us in the same place at the same time
Scully
that one time in anaheim was actually an illusion created by a rift in the time-space continuum
Tucker
easy Doc Brown. science gets me confused easily
Scully
I totally hung out with Doc Brown the other day
Tucker
well, tell him i said "Flux you"
Scully
that seems ungentlemanly. I will have to inform the gentlemen's club that you are a fraud sir!
Tucker
in all honestly, you gonna create another rift and come to orlando soon?
Scully
I will be back tomorrow but then it's back to tampa, then DC then Denver, then Breck, then finally back to tampa, decompress, then orlando for a long time (a month)
Tucker
thats too much traveling, when are you gonna drop anchor here so we are able to go for a beer?
Scully
January
Tucker
i was thinking youd say, May 2017, but i can wait til Jan =)
Scully
you assume I plan that far ahead
Tucker
shit, i dont assume that I myself will be alive that far ahead
Scully
good planning technique. anyday I live beyond today is a day I was not expecting and thus a day gained
Tucker
i got today, thats it, til i find out tomorrow. exactly
Scully
I merely live life through a series of tasks, outlined by a meticulous to do list. I found that if I run out of items on the list, I am deeply depressed, lacking any real desire for living for I have accomplished all I meant to accomplish.
Tucker
is "eat breakfast then figure out day" a meticulous list for me?
Scully
I considered setting long term goals, allowing me to live by the daily lists generated to obtain that goal. but then what happens when I reach this goal? I would be too old to establish any new goal, and what if, half way towards my goal I realize that this goal is futile and not worth pursuing, thus rendering half my life to date irrelevant?
Instead I got cats.
Tucker
and youre that lady...
Scully
but then I found myself getting bored between feedings and poop scooping. What was I to do with the void in my life? What was I to do with myself, to fill my lists with?
so I got a boyfriend
which is perfect. I have twice as much laundry. twice as much food to prepare. twice as many ways to entertain myself intimately (an outlet not yet explored with cats) and twice as much crap to clean
Tucker
haha, nice. im glad you werent yet eating pussy's pussyor using the ol' peanut butter trick
Scully
Of course not... their tongues are far too papery
so essentially I could have been a productive and contributing member of society. Instead I fill my days with routine, ritual, and every now and then latex and leather indulgences. Which comes full circle and I find myself bored by routine
So now I'm just setting destinations instead of goals. anytime I feel my life is completed, I sit in a dark room. There is a tray in front of me. Three items on this tray
A glass of wine. A television/cable box remote control. A cyanide pill.
Tucker
i like where this is headed
Scully
I reach out and take the remote. I turn on the television and tune it to the Travel Channel. If Samantha Brown is on, I drink the wine. If it is Anthony Bordain is on, I ponder, deeply, on the number 42. If it is Andrew Zimmern, I think of how the colour cyan derives it's name from the colour victims of cyanide poisoning turns and how lovely I look in the blue.
Act II
Scully
Would you mind if I translated this conversation a bit for use in my blog?
Tucker
please do
i feel EVERYONE should read this. hell, id pay. i wont now, because you gave it away for free, but if you asked for some money to hear your outlook on life, id pay
Scully
This is just the free taste to wet you're whistle
Tucker
oh shit
(reaches for singles)
Scully
I will be doing a bit of editing, mostly for the conciseness of the piece
Tucker
you cant rob the people
Scully
it's mostly you
Tucker
oh yea, cut me out
Scully
I don't need a voice cutting in just to agree with me. I find it confuses the audience
Tucker
i expect a shout out in the preface
Scully
of course
Sort of like when two drunken strangers find themselves entangled in a terrifically awful one night stand. The woman is then left impregnated, burdened by the living breathing scarlet letter. the man a footnote, often mentioned in the preface of their lives
Tucker
that is EXACTLY what ive been looking to be my entire life
i really just wanna be a footnote in a one night stand
i havent been able to check out a book in a library, let alone get in on a footnote
Scully
Mazel tov
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